FORGIVENESS VS. RECONCILIATION
Last week's homily dealt with the difficult message of forgiveness.
Before addressing forgiveness, we may ask ourselves the question, Why was sin permitted in the first place that now requires our forgiveness? The Catechism of the Catholic Church gives us some insight in paragraph #412:
412 But why did God not prevent the first man from sinning? St. Leo the Great responds, "Christ's inexpressible grace gave us blessings better than those the demon's envy had taken away." And St. Thomas Aquinas wrote, "There is nothing to prevent human nature's being raised up to something greater, even after sin; God permits evil in order to draw forth some greater good. Thus St. Paul says, 'Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more'; and the Exsultet sings, 'O happy fault,. . . which gained for us so great a Redeemer!'"
St. Pope John Paul II's Message for the Celebration of the World day of Peace, which was given on January 1, 2002, in paragraph 1, points to the hope that no matter what the situation, that "human events are always accompanied by the merciful providence of God". It is worth reflecting in our time on the main point of the message, "No peace without justice, no justice without forgiveness".
This point was further re-iterated in my homily in my quoting of the book entitled My Peace I give you by Dawn Eden (available at Chapters.Indigo.ca or Amazon.ca). Chapter 5 focused on 2 saints, one of which was St. Maria Goretti, who I talked about in depth. As she lay dying, she forgave her attacker but she also answered the police's questions so he could be prosecuted. Both actions sprang form the same desire for her attacker's good and the good of others. "Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the demands of justice. It means wanting God's best for that person" (Pg. 93).
This forgiveness cannot be done on our own, but it is a work of God that begins in our heart and extends to the healing of our memories as seem in Paragraphs 2842 and 2843 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
2842 This "as" is not unique in Jesus' teaching: "You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect"; "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful"; "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." It is impossible to keep the Lord's commandment by imitating the divine model from outside; there has to be a vital participation, coming from the depths of the heart, in the holiness and the mercy and the love of our God. Only the Spirit by whom we live can make "ours" the same mind that was in Christ Jesus. Then the unity of forgiveness becomes possible and we find ourselves "forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave" us.
2843 Thus the Lord's words on forgiveness, the love that loves to the end, become a living reality. The parable of the merciless servant, which crowns the Lord's teaching on ecclesial communion, ends with these words: "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." It is there, in fact, "in the depths of the heart," that everything is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.
One of the misconceptions about forgiveness is that it is the same thing as reconciliation. Forgiveness comes directly from the heart and is a choice that we make. Reconciliation requires 2 people and as ready as we are to reconcile with the other person, the other person must be willing to accept the reconciliation. Dawn Eden has some wonderful insights on forgiveness in her above mentioned book on page 92.
